i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
