Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
