She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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