i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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