he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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