you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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