How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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