Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize