I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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