he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize