All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
