I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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