i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize