it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
