I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He felt like a one man threesome
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
no more duck duck goose at the bar
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize