I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
