i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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