piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize