then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
