he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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