spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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