Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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