I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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