One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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