i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
