did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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