im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's never too late to be topless.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
