DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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