Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
