Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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