Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
