Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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