whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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