She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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