Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
