she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
