Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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