Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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