uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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