I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
