Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
