i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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