No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
