Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I came so hard my ears popped.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
