She said her name was "party"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
