Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
