Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
