If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
