Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
