I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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