Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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