after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
