i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
