I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
