Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Come share oat with me in your robe
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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