Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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