I'm so fucking centered right now
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
