He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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