In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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