just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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