hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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